So I wanted to write this post so I can share a bit of my recent journey and some self discovery I’ve made.
Today my husband and I are one week away from being in Mexico…EEEK! So excited!! Hubby and I always “prep” for vacation when we know that we’ll be spending it at the beach. We don’t compete in shows, we don’t do photoshoots and we don’t get a lot of sunshine or beach time here in dreary Washington, so we enjoy the opportunity and challenge of prepping to look our best for these big vacations!
Today I stepped on the scale, only because I’ve been monitoring progress of my cutting phase so that I can share the results and progress later on.
When I got on the scale it read 116.5 lbs.
Your thoughts??? “That’s great!”, “Wow, that’s amazing!”, “Is that a problem?”, etc.
After giving it some thought, yes it is great and amazing and no it’s not a problem at all and I’ll tell you why….
I went through a huge bulk last fall. I gained 10 lbs in 11 weeks, a combination of fat & muscle. But I was SO proud that I had such a successful bulking season, that I had regained size in my glutes (and all over) and that I was healthy and happy. I ended in October with a weight of 125.5 lbs and I was so excited. I felt like I was strong, healthy and muscular like all those “other fit chicks” because I felt like finally my weight and measurements could compare to what I’ve seen. What I didn’t realize is that bulking season caused me to put so much value and emphasis on the “number.” The weight I saw on the scale defined my progress for 11 weeks and I let that consume me.
Fast forward to January and I decided to start prepping for our trip to Mexico. I wanted to cut calories/carbs slowly because I was fearful of losing all of the “muscle gains” I made during that bulking period. I slowly altered my caloric intake every couple weeks in order to continue losing overall body fat. I kept weighing myself and seeing the scale decrease over and over and over. This would never normally be a problem but I backed myself into a corner, I got discouraged because I had just worked so hard to put the weight on. What I didn’t realize is that I began letting the scale define me…. and in turn I began comparing myself to other women on social media who “weigh more than me but look leaner” and I felt discouraged!
It took many weeks, but finally I snapped back to reality and remembered that I am my own person with my own journey, my own progress and my own goals!
Today, I weighed in at 116.5 lbs confidently because I remembered that:
- Success can only be measured on an individual level. The only thing I need to worry about is that I’m enjoying my journey, crushing my goals and that I’m better than I was yesterday. No one else’s story compares to mine because we are all different people with different bodies, different experiences, different goals and different results.
- I am happy with how far my fitness journey has taken me and all the experience and knowledge I’ve gained throughout this ride. Especially everything I’ve learned throughout my postpartum journey and the newfound admiration for all the mama’s out there crushing their goals!
- My journey is far from over. I have a lifetime of dreams and goals to achieve in relation to health and fitness. This is an activity that brings me joy and I won’t allow myself to be overcome or consumed by comparisons of the world.
- And more specifically, when I step back and look at the big picture, I can see that I did gain muscle over my bulking phase. Although I almost weigh now what I did when I started my bulk, I can see the bigger picture and I am more muscular and my glutes are fuller than before, which means I successfully accomplished my bulking goal….Operation Grow Those Glutes!! Achieving goals is what this entire lifestyle is about!
- And lastly and seemingly least important, I know that I am still in a caloric deficit and am not at a maintenance weight right now. That means that when I am at my normal maintenance level, the scale will reflect those bulking “gains” if I so chose to check periodically.
The overall message I’m trying to convey here….
Life is so much bigger than worrying about the things I see on social media or comparing my fitness accomplishments to anyone else’s.
It’s about being happy, loving, laughing, spending time with family and friends, traveling, eating, playing, dancing, singing, achieving goals, chasing dreams and making memories. There’s so much more reward that comes with making peace with the things that make you an individual, whatever size or shape you may be.